On Religion & Acceptance: Ms. Wu

I am of Catholic background.  I’ve always thought of this to be the most horrifying, that they will burn in hell.  Since my daughter was a little girl, that’s what I had been teaching her, but I never realized that she actually is.  Until she went to college, then I realized she became gay.  I thought she could change.  I always hoped that she can change.  I think it’s because of the fact that I am a single mother, it is nurture and not nature.  I thought it was because of that, so I kept exploring if there are ways to change her back.  But all my efforts failed.  Then because you love your child, so you have to accept her.  If you refuse to accept her, you will lose her.  Since then I have been trying to learn more about these issues, and try to get to know more gay friends.  I have classmates, coworkers who are also gay, and I eventually got to know about them as well.  They are all really nice people, and slowly they began sharing their stories with me about how they became gay, how they dealt with their parents and family, and how they came out eventually.  I am a classmate who works in a pharmaceutical company, in a high position.  He is a man, and he was married for fifteen years.  He said “I am Italian and I am the only child.  If I tell my parents about my sexual orientation, they would have killed me.”  He waited until his parents passed away to tell his wife, and they divorced.  He also  said that many of his friend went through similar experiences and took a long time to come out.

我是天主教的background、我一向認為這是最可怕的、他們要 burn in hell。我從小就告訴我的女兒這樣子、從來沒想到她會是的。等到她大學的時候、我才曉得她變成是gay。我以為她是可以改變的。我一直希望她能改變。也許因為我是 single mother、我想她是有這個原因、是後天的不是先天的。你懂什麼叫後天、先天? 先天是生下來就是 gay、後天是受了刺激以後、經過什麼 trauma之後他才變成 gay。這不一樣的兩種。我以為我的女兒可能是因為這樣的關係、所以我一直再想、她是不是能夠變回來。但是我努力的結果慢慢都不行。那因為你自己愛你的孩子、所以你必須接受她、你不接受你就失掉她了。所以我就開始對這一方面去盡量多認識 gay 的朋友。我有同學、我有同事、慢慢我知道他們也是 gay。他們都是很好的人、慢慢就知道他們的故事告訴我、他們怎麼變成、怎麼樣子對他們的父母、他們的家人、慢慢 open 自己他們是 gay。我有一個同學、在 pharmaceutical company 做事、已經做的很高的位置、是個男的。他結婚了15年、他說他是義大利人。他說:你想我是義大利人、I’m the only child、如果我告訴我的父母我是 gay、他們會把我殺掉的。 他說等他的父母都死了以後、他才出來跟他太太講。他們離了婚。所以他說、那我還有很多其他朋友也是這樣、慢慢的出來。