our portraits, our families – lesley kim
Lesley Kim
w/ Pu Whan Kim – father, Hui Ae Kim – mother, Crystal So Young Cabral – twin sister, Pedro Cabral – brother-in-law, Lily Cabral – niece, Leo Cabral – nephew, Lukas Cabral – nephew
Images by Justin Maxon
I’m a 29-year old Korean American lesbian female.
Two adults who weren’t prepared to be parents brought my identical twin and I into this world. My biological mother and father were drug addicts, so we went straight from my mothers’ womb to the incubators, and then to my adoptive parents’ home. Since that day, my parents cared for and looked after my twin and I as their own.
My parents were strict traditional Korean parents. I did my best to please them, but my sexuality was something I had no control over. My parents found out that I was a lesbian in my junior year of high school; I came home late one evening, and my parents began to reprimand me when my twin told them I was with lesbians and that I also like girls.
In that moment, I was honest and told my parents that I was a lesbian and that I don’t find boys attractive. They refused to believe me and, for years, kept saying it was just a phase.
My mother and I had a turning point when I was 18. I was with my first girlfriend and, one night, we got into a serious argument. I was upset and got totally drunk, and then went to my mother’s house. That night, my mother held me all night while I was sobbing, and wiped the tears off my face. My mother said that she would always be there for me even if I’m heartbroken over a female, because I’m her child and she would love me no less because of my sexuality.
That night will always stay with me because it was the first time my mother accepted me for who I am, and it was the first time she realized being gay was not a choice for me.
Today my family only wants to see me settled down with the woman of my dreams. They are my backbone and my reason to strive to become better in all aspects of my life. It’s such a remarkable feeling of liberation to not be secretive about my sexuality, and to be completely open with everyone.
Today my family only wants to see me settled down with the woman of my dreams. They are my backbone and my reason to strive to become better in all aspects of my life.
Through the photographer’s eyes
What is remarkable about Lesley’s family is their ability to uphold cultural values while fostering personal growth. I aimed to convey the family’s characterizations of robust domesticity, celebration, and individuality. After scouring family albums, I used old photos to develop collages along these themes and then employed solar plate printing. Through these reconstructed memories are images firmly rooted in the family’s truth of affection and foundation.